Roger Waters in concert, Antwerp, Belgium. Copyright TNC

Roger Waters in concert, Antwerp, Belgium. Copyright TNC

Roger Waters, copyright TNC

Roger Waters, Antwerp, copyright TNC

You know how this 2month newbie in entrepreneur-land moved forward til now? One HUGE EXTRAVAGANZA step forward, two steps back :-)

Let’s say I’m trying to move to a pattern of going forward babystep by babystep.  How do I do that?  The pattern above is the story of my life.  I’m a high sensation seeker, a speed burner.  My body burns up food at a terrifying speed.  My mind does the same with experiences and lessons.  And every time there is a wall standing there, just quietly patiently  waiting for me to bang into it.    And there’s no judgement in this wall.  He’s so zen.  And sooo patient.  I thank this wall for being that patient teacher and I know it will be there as long as I need it.

But… I do intent to get rid of it :-)  By slowing down my pace and taking care of myself, by patrolling my borders and keeping watch over my energy levels.

I feel like this whole self-employed thing is the ultimate life exercise for me to get rid of the old pattern.  And I will not run away from it.  In fact, I have been facing it intensely the last two months, trying out different paces and ways.  I’ve tried the over the top enthusiastic way, surfing on waves of spirit highs.  Turns out the wind eventually dies down.  I’ve tried the strictly scheduling way, making lists and strictly scheduling in my work and relax time.  Turns out I didn’t want to work when my schedule announced WORK and I didn’t feel like relaxing when it said RELAX.  Hahaha, this is all quite hilarious, afterwards.

So the new way is: growing a strong FUNDAMENT, by meditating daily to

stay in close contact with my soul, my truth and the natural way of the Universe

If the Universe wants to go right on the crosspath and I am going left because I didn’t have the time and the silence to listen to the flows that are bigger then me, where will I eventually end up?  Big fat flu land?  No man’s land?  Frustroland?

If my soul needs rest in it’s path and I’m rushing through it because I don’t have a clue of what my soul needs cozz I’m simply not taking time to listen to it: same scenario.

So change is on it’s way, actually it’s here right now :)  I create silence, I listen.  And then I move on to work or play or whatever is needed.

Did I mention that this weekend I attended the fabulous concert of Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)? Guess how it was named??  The Wall…

During the concert a giant wall was built between the band and the audience.  It was mind blowing.

My favourite part was at the end: where the wall came crushing down…





Yes sweethearts, it struck me hard, the big fat flu.  And it had too, because there was no other way of making me listen…  I thought I wasn’t the stubborn kind but hey, I can be.

As happens a lot with people who carry the element FIRE inside (Sagittarius!), I burned out in all my enthousiasm.  From zero to the top and smashing back, baby.  If your other element is AIR, you’re screwed ;-)  Even more oxygen to blaze the fire…  So allright, my life is about finding the grounding and centering powers of EARTH and the smooth gentle surrendering moves of WATER.  It’s like an e-course I run at the Life School.  Lovely Professor Universe keeps sending me lessons to learn and exercises to practice.

Thanks for all the patience, Life, I love you.

So here I am, back with my feet on the ground and keeping an eye on my energy.  Seeing things in perspective.  I don’t need to be self-employed and making thousands of bucks tomorrow.  Couple of weeks ago I wrote: I’m having the time of my life.  Today I add: and I have a lifetime to experience and grow it.

So all options are open now.  Starting in september, starting in january, starting never, starting fulltime self-employed, starting halftime self-employed, etc.  All is well as long as I feel good about it.  I go with the flow.

I lay down in the water, I listen to the river and try to feel where it wants to take me.  

Instead of sitting on a military boat and feverishly rowing this or that way, blowing a mad horn.

And I have the intention to try not to let that balance break down in a week’s time.  I have the intention to take care for myself, to sustain myself.  Because I love me.



Urgent indeed.  Coz when I get all nonchy about life and stop setting out intentions, I get  lost in no time.  And then I start wondering what went wrong, I had it all  together, HADN’T I???  Life is a constant exercise, what else would we do here?

So here we go.

This week I need to set intentions at the beginning of every day :-).  This means basically I want to pick up my morning ritual again of picking a Louise Hay Wisdom Card  and writing down 3 MIT’s (Most Important Things) for the day.  A day with and one without this ritual is like day and night difference :-).

And there’s another intention, more like for the rest of the month: focusing on the deeper connection with the love of my life (aka The Next Commuter).  Practical life has taken over with the coming of our daughter, the buying of a house and the social integrating in the new neighbourhood.  Great fun, really.  And so important.  But the scale needs to remain balanced and that’s not just an exercice we do once, it’s life, it’s lifelong.   Before, there was just me and him and we were utterly close.  After studenthood our social life was shrinking and we both missed it.  We built a new one and guess what: now we both miss eachother as connected in the deep way we were before.  Off to a new balance we go…

I started this monday weekly intention inspired by Andrea of ABC Creativity.  It seems like she no longer hosts it on her website or facebook but I’ll continue doing it on my blog.  You can share yours if you like right here.  Sometimes a spot to write it down is all the encouragement we need.



Dear souls,

I’m going through some intense changes these times, this Blue Moon cycle…  During a week or so I managed somehow to combine this intensity with AEDM and Creativity 101 but than I began to feel torn apart and sucked away…  So I just cut it all down to give space to the intensity before it would drown me.



So this week’s intention is to stick with myself, stay very close to my needs.  To keep creating space to breathe amidst this storm of changes.  To be nice to myself…



It feels like the right time to tell you something about this enigmatic Blue Moon then… (as I promised days ago)

A Blue Moon cycle occurs only once in 2,5 years. Technically it means that the Moon is full twice while the sun is still in the same constellation.  Energetically, it means you’re given the opportunity to leave behind an enormous amount of old restrictive patterns and give birth to a whole new you and that in a time lapse of only a month, where it would take you normally 1 to 3 years.

Be more precise! -you’re thinking.  Well, in a year there are 12 moon cycles, each of them carrying it’s own energy to help you perform a year’s movement from choice over realization to reflection.  And then it starts over again in a new year.  But now you’re given the chance to perform that exact same movement in just one month, it’s amazing and extremely intense, as you can imagine.

Have you felt it? Patterns that were safe to behave in all of a sudden lie shattered on the floor, you feel a little lost but don’t know exactly why.  It’s the Blue Moon calling you. Inviting you to jump of the cliff!

Sending you lots of love and courage,


I need to relax into myself, exactly as in the intention-setting-meditation.

To step inside, take some time to look around and see what needs to be done.  Removing the inner clutter, the voices from strangers, the expectations of the world, the impossible demands I make on myself, restore my boundaries where I allowed them to crumble.

Yes… that’s what I need… I can feel it now…

My soul needs space, needs not to be captured in boxes with name tags on.

Name tags like “AEDM”, “blue moon circle”, “family time”, “me-time”, “blog-time”, “social time”…

I just let it flow and step into the river of life and allow it to take me wherever, I do not try to take over control… and I trust my heart that it will be a perfectly balanced ride…


I’m feeling run down and overwhelmed by some negative experiences of this week. A dear soul at CreatingDreamsComeTrue you just gave me the insight that I am in desperate need of rebuilding some boundaries. (Thank you, Lee Ann!)

During the wonderful intention-meditation it became very clear that this week I want to make the following movement: cleanse myself and my space and then fill it up with positive joyful fulfilling things.

Or in boundary-talk:

re-defining what can come in and what must get out

I’ll ask my collage-bear for some help ;-)