Archive for October, 2011


You know the saying, right, that we’re all students and teachers in life? And then you think, oh yeah that’s true, well said!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

People, this one is really worth thinking through. Because it has so much to do with self-love and self-esteem. And it counters self-loathing and despair.  Now let that be the core issue of most struggles-with-the-self :-)  So take a moment with me here to dive in.

First of all, the mere idea that we are here to learn, gives us an endless playfield to play, try, fail and try again. Who ever expected from first grade kids that they would know how to write and how to add 42 to 65?
The idea is so ridiculous, right?  But IT’S WHAT WE ALL DO on the level of life lessons.
Once we graduate from school, we think we have seen it all and we switch off the learning button. From that moment on, no more mistakes are to be made and no learning curve is to be allowed. We’re adults now, goddammit, we know how to do stuff.

And that unconscious assumption gives us the right to mentally beat ourselves up for every mistake we make. I think it’s a very interesting perspective to look upon our inner critic. Because it offers us a valuable alternative: the teacher. Or even better: the coach. One who knows that our whole life is a learning curve. One who knows that making mistakes is the best way to grow and integrate lessons. And one who reminds us of that when we fail or blunder.

You feel the relief and the space…?

A loving space to grow and play… it’s what we want to give our kids and so often forget to give ourselves :-) .

Now there’s more. (I told you it was worth standing still for!)

You can use this saying to take a fresh look at your relationships in life. Here’s a fun thing to do that will entirely change your perspective. Think of someone who plays an important role in your life right now, for better or for worse. (The exercise gets extra interesting when you take the for worse part). Let your thoughts come up and listen. Then ask yourself the question: what is he or she for in my life? What can he/she teach me? And what can I teach him/her?

(It will always be an and/and-situation. You can always AND learn from AND teach someone. That’s one of the utter beauties and utter meanings of living together.)

Now listen again.  And tell me what you’ve experienced!  You can do this with anyone in your life but it especially helps to reframe relationships that feel wrong or icky or threatening.

Ask yourself every day this week: what did I teach today?  what did I learn today?  It’ll be like a fresh autumn breeze blowing through your mind and soul…

So here I am.  Just dropped of my daughter at school (she goes to school!!), drank coffee with the mothers, got back home and made the transition to my creating bubble: tidying up the house with a sense of urge and why-am-I-doing-this-I-should-just-get-started… until I get to litting the candles and making myself some tea… and I feel calm and awareness slipping in… and I remember… this is just my ritual to stepping into my creative space…

Aaaah…breathe…

How have you been, dear souls?  How did you spend your summer?  Have you been wandering around the world?  Have you met new people?  Did you surf on waves of inspiration?  Did you dance and laugh your ass off?  Or was it just all different for you?

Cause we are like light switches…we can choose to let the waves of the season in or out.  We can choose to bask in summer glow and glory.  Or we can choose to listen to other urges within us.

Personally, I have ridden the wild summer donkey this time.  I have turned myself inside out and have thrown my soul through every open door.  I travelled, partied, danced, laughed, wept, chattered, walked the earth, said hell yeah to every opportunity, went out out out.  Outside.  Outside myself and my limits.  I really pushed some limits this summer.

And it felt damn good.  I’m closing up a time lapse of withholding myself.  Of being in fall-mode all year long.  I’m talking 4-5 years here.

It-feels-so-damn-good to open up.

It was necessary for me to retreat for such a long time, there is no negative resonance in the words “retreat” or “withdraw” whatsoever.  This is really a pet topic of mine: the right to retreat, the undoing of the insane notion that we should always be up and running and out there, performing at our top level.

The world goes up and down, the seasons fluctuate through it, it’s good to feel the change in the air at the end of the summer.  In our times, this is the hardest change to give in to: going within, pacing down, giving in to the downward movement.

let’s go down
sweet souls
let’s all sink into the earth
into her soft and aromatic darkness
and let us rest
let us be healed

With love,

Nele