Archive for May, 2011

Roger Waters in concert, Antwerp, Belgium. Copyright TNC

Roger Waters in concert, Antwerp, Belgium. Copyright TNC

Roger Waters, copyright TNC

Roger Waters, Antwerp, copyright TNC

You know how this 2month newbie in entrepreneur-land moved forward til now? One HUGE EXTRAVAGANZA step forward, two steps back :-)

Let’s say I’m trying to move to a pattern of going forward babystep by babystep.  How do I do that?  The pattern above is the story of my life.  I’m a high sensation seeker, a speed burner.  My body burns up food at a terrifying speed.  My mind does the same with experiences and lessons.  And every time there is a wall standing there, just quietly patiently  waiting for me to bang into it.    And there’s no judgement in this wall.  He’s so zen.  And sooo patient.  I thank this wall for being that patient teacher and I know it will be there as long as I need it.

But… I do intent to get rid of it :-)  By slowing down my pace and taking care of myself, by patrolling my borders and keeping watch over my energy levels.

I feel like this whole self-employed thing is the ultimate life exercise for me to get rid of the old pattern.  And I will not run away from it.  In fact, I have been facing it intensely the last two months, trying out different paces and ways.  I’ve tried the over the top enthusiastic way, surfing on waves of spirit highs.  Turns out the wind eventually dies down.  I’ve tried the strictly scheduling way, making lists and strictly scheduling in my work and relax time.  Turns out I didn’t want to work when my schedule announced WORK and I didn’t feel like relaxing when it said RELAX.  Hahaha, this is all quite hilarious, afterwards.

So the new way is: growing a strong FUNDAMENT, by meditating daily to

stay in close contact with my soul, my truth and the natural way of the Universe

If the Universe wants to go right on the crosspath and I am going left because I didn’t have the time and the silence to listen to the flows that are bigger then me, where will I eventually end up?  Big fat flu land?  No man’s land?  Frustroland?

If my soul needs rest in it’s path and I’m rushing through it because I don’t have a clue of what my soul needs cozz I’m simply not taking time to listen to it: same scenario.

So change is on it’s way, actually it’s here right now :)  I create silence, I listen.  And then I move on to work or play or whatever is needed.

Did I mention that this weekend I attended the fabulous concert of Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)? Guess how it was named??  The Wall…

During the concert a giant wall was built between the band and the audience.  It was mind blowing.

My favourite part was at the end: where the wall came crushing down…





Yes sweethearts, it struck me hard, the big fat flu.  And it had too, because there was no other way of making me listen…  I thought I wasn’t the stubborn kind but hey, I can be.

As happens a lot with people who carry the element FIRE inside (Sagittarius!), I burned out in all my enthousiasm.  From zero to the top and smashing back, baby.  If your other element is AIR, you’re screwed ;-)  Even more oxygen to blaze the fire…  So allright, my life is about finding the grounding and centering powers of EARTH and the smooth gentle surrendering moves of WATER.  It’s like an e-course I run at the Life School.  Lovely Professor Universe keeps sending me lessons to learn and exercises to practice.

Thanks for all the patience, Life, I love you.

So here I am, back with my feet on the ground and keeping an eye on my energy.  Seeing things in perspective.  I don’t need to be self-employed and making thousands of bucks tomorrow.  Couple of weeks ago I wrote: I’m having the time of my life.  Today I add: and I have a lifetime to experience and grow it.

So all options are open now.  Starting in september, starting in january, starting never, starting fulltime self-employed, starting halftime self-employed, etc.  All is well as long as I feel good about it.  I go with the flow.

I lay down in the water, I listen to the river and try to feel where it wants to take me.  

Instead of sitting on a military boat and feverishly rowing this or that way, blowing a mad horn.

And I have the intention to try not to let that balance break down in a week’s time.  I have the intention to take care for myself, to sustain myself.  Because I love me.


Cuisine musings

You’re all gonna laugh at me :-)  I decided to cuisine dinner during the day, when I have time and energy.  Instead of in the evening, when I’m worn out and everything has to happen at the same time and everyone wants to tell me how their day was.

Now I just finished dinner preparations (it’s 11am) and I enjoyed cooking as I haven’t been enjoying it for a looong time.  I noticed I had energy enough to pour love into the casseroles, to try something new, to add a little more of this and that.  Instead of throwing things in, slamming on the lids and hoping the recipe doesn’t demand anything more than that.  And if it does: sighing and steaming like a locomotive.

Now I’m sure lots of you already know and do all this.  And you might be thinking: look who’s arriving to the zone of cuisine wisdom!  I’m sure my mom will.

But here’s the thing: we all have to learn things in our time.  I was told by my mom, I have seen others do it and I thought: wow, I should try this out.   But all that isn’t going to change anything.  That’s not the way we learn.

Today I thought: hey! let’s try this out.  I don’t WANT all the stress anymore.  I WANT to pour love in and enjoy my cuisine.

And so it happened.

Amen :-)

Sweet souls,

I could have never imagined the thought that crossed my mind yesterday:

I was born to be an entrepreneur

Really.  Me.

I come out of a nest where safety and stability ruled.  No adventure.  No change.  It was hard to grow up discovering I was exactly the opposite.  Transformation and self-realization are life-rules for me.  Adventure calls me all the time.  I have a new idea every 4 seconds.  And hell yeah, I’m an entrepreneur.


I have found my tribe.  One where every single member has his wacky ideas about living life.  I cannot possibly tell you how happy I am,

I’m living the time of my life

Now let me tell you how I felt before I found my tribe and my calling.

It was doubt all allong.  In everything I was doing, I was wondering: now is this really the right thing?  I’m a human being that lives on intuition (they DO exist!) so I always followed that feeling. Which meant I changed my mind A LOT.  I changed from job A LOT.  And guess what: I got judged A LOT.  “You cannot make decisions” “You cannot set your mind on something and finish it properly”. And then there it was:

“you’re such a doubter”

And you here it resonating loud and clear: DOUBT IS NOT DONE.  Those words are poison to someone of the age where you try to figure out for yourself what to do with your life.    Until that poison entered my veins, the doubt was perfectly HEALTHY, it was a mechanism of my soul trying to gently push me the right way.  This is the kind of doubt I would like to rehabilitate.  It’s sane, it’s vital, it’s life saving.  Basically: it’s Intuition calling your attention by causing a feeling of doubt in your body.

The other doubt is the one others talk into your head.  You start doubting your intuiton, your gut feeling.  That’s where the suffering starts.

I’m so glad my intuition was strong enough to resuscitate and carry on after every period of poisonous injections.   And off course I got where I had to be and I believe most of us eventually will.  But with so much unnecessary suffering of self-loathing and inner criticism.

So to hell with those who say you doubt too much.  It’s your soul telling you the circumstances aren’t right.

I can tell you this one thing I learned about life:




Sweet sweet dreamers,

Since I’ve somewhat grown out of my dreamlist #1, it’s time to settle for a #2!!


  • get my business rockin’ready for take-off in september 2011
  • find a way to stay grounded and centered during the whole process of getting self-employed
  • find a work rythm that’s good for me: balanced time and space for creating, marketing and playing
  • keep my intuition in the driver’s seat (you’re doing a great job up there in front, thank you!)
  • get access to the unbound child in me that can play with my daughter without using this grown-up fancy mind of mine
  • a new bathroom, an organised garage, a red-painted facade, a laid out garden, a separate working space, a new dining room -WHAAAA!
  • an ecological car (electric)
  • hiking in Ireland(again! it’s been 4 years ago since the first time and my soul is longing to go back, I felt so carried, supported, sustained by earth and nature, it’s a magical country, the very SOIL is magic)
  • go to parties -like A LOT!!
  • get my dance groove on, every day

  • use my natural talent for sacred dance to orientate and ground myself, to regenerate, to clarify, to soothe…
  • surrender to love of my life TNC, not closing myself for what he has to offer, this gorgeous mysterious soul

Now let’s see… if the magic of writing it down works as fast with this one as it did with #1!!

      SO… what are YOUR big dreams ?

The Universe and I are listening…very closely…



PS: happy mother’s day to y’all mamas!!


Urgent indeed.  Coz when I get all nonchy about life and stop setting out intentions, I get  lost in no time.  And then I start wondering what went wrong, I had it all  together, HADN’T I???  Life is a constant exercise, what else would we do here?

So here we go.

This week I need to set intentions at the beginning of every day :-).  This means basically I want to pick up my morning ritual again of picking a Louise Hay Wisdom Card  and writing down 3 MIT’s (Most Important Things) for the day.  A day with and one without this ritual is like day and night difference :-).

And there’s another intention, more like for the rest of the month: focusing on the deeper connection with the love of my life (aka The Next Commuter).  Practical life has taken over with the coming of our daughter, the buying of a house and the social integrating in the new neighbourhood.  Great fun, really.  And so important.  But the scale needs to remain balanced and that’s not just an exercice we do once, it’s life, it’s lifelong.   Before, there was just me and him and we were utterly close.  After studenthood our social life was shrinking and we both missed it.  We built a new one and guess what: now we both miss eachother as connected in the deep way we were before.  Off to a new balance we go…

I started this monday weekly intention inspired by Andrea of ABC Creativity.  It seems like she no longer hosts it on her website or facebook but I’ll continue doing it on my blog.  You can share yours if you like right here.  Sometimes a spot to write it down is all the encouragement we need.